Hurricane Matthew

Crossing now to our live reporter on the field… beep…beep…b-beep…beep…

…. Thanks HQ! Here is the status of the weekend Blitz weather. You better hunker down tankers, with weekend long 2x exp on the horizon we are in for that terrifying Blitzospheric event, a Cat 4 Noobstorm! Conservative predictions have it making landfall at 7.01 pm (Eastern), with a 45% WR noobsurge hitting hard all weekend long! Peak SOLO-YOLO is estimated to pass somewhere around 6.59 pm (Sunday), but with Fall break underway in many affected states, the after effects could linger for days. Tiers VIII-X are under MANDATORY EVACUATION! As always there are those foolhardy tier-surfers out there, loading HE and derping the big surge. That’s within their rights of course, but boys… don’t expect your calls for help to get answered! You are on your own! Back to the studio … beep-a-beep-beep…

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