Drac/Helsing Grind

Dr “McRaincloud” Ferd here, reporting in from the main studio. Don’t hit that “Battle” button guys, it’s all gone to the dogs out there, what a mess. Over to Frank, our live reporter in “Vineyards”…. beep-a-beep … beep … beep …

… THANK’S DOC! AS YOU DESCRIBED IT’S … (inaudible) … BLOWING HURRICANE FORCE WINDS HERE … (background screaming) … STRAIGHT OUT OF TRANSYLVANIA TO THE NORTH  … (inaudible) … JUST WHEN WE THOUGHT THE WEEKEND CREW EXP NOOBSTORM WOULD HAVE DISSIPATED. THIS SEEMS LIKE … (screaming/strangling sounds) … AN ENTIRELY NEW LEVEL OF EMERGENCY. TANKS ARE DRIVING IN CIRCLES, KNOCKING DOWN TREES … (gasping/groaning sounds) … POWER LINES ARE DOWN EVERYWHERE; FENCES, SMALL BUILDINGS, YOU NAME IT. RED TANKS ARE ROAMING AT WILL WHILE GREENS SEACH FOR WINDOWS TO LICK … (gargled, throaty-desperation screaming) … SEEMS LIKE EVERY 45%-er WITH 2000 GAMES UNDER HIS BELT IS OUT HERE WANDERING AIMLESSLY IN THE STORM, SEARCHING FOR MYTHICAL FREE TANKS … (last gasp coughing) … CALLING … (wistful silence) … CALLING … calling …

… beep-a-beep … FRANK, FRANK! Are you there FRANK? … beep … beep …

… CALLING “TOWN U NUB” ON MIDDLEBURG … (loud shrieking) … AND “THEY WILL BE PORT U IDIOTS” ON PORT BAY … I CAN’T … I JUST CAN’T ….

… FRANK!!! …

… CAN’T TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS! … WAIT! … IS THAT A T29 ON A HILLTOP OUT IN THE OPEN? IT’S NOT CLEAR IN THE FOG! WHAT’S THAT BLACK  SILHOUETTE BEHIND HIM?

AHHHHhhhhhhhaaaa … aaaa …..

THIS WILL GO ON FOR weeeeeeeeekkkkkksss…..

… (extended static) …

… beep-a-beep-beep …

We apologize for the break in transmission, we seem to be having technical difficulties with our crew in the field. Well then, that’s about it for our Emergency Blitz Weather Warning and we will now return you to our regularly scheduled programming. At the top of the hour we continue with “Hunker Down and Sharpen Your Pitchforks”, part three of ten of the award winning documentary of survivors of the Tankenstein grind and their struggles adjusting back to real life, followed by “Get a Life U Noob!”, the game show featuring all your favorite insults from multiplayer online gaming and the bravery of anonymity!

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s