Rerolls

We again interrupt your regular programming to bring you the Extended Weekend BlitzWeather Forecast. Over to guest reporter, Player_65598715, who is a brand new re-roll, bringing us a live update from the Tutorial Battlefield … beep … beep … a-beep … beep …

… Er, thanks HQ, I guess. You were not supposed to tell anyone I was here, remember? “Just re-roll”, they said, “Then you will be blue enough for the top division”, they said. But what about crew skills? This place stinks. Hey, DON’T BACK UP BLOCK! …

beep … beep … Focus 715! What’s the BlitzWeather outlook? … beep

… Oh, sorry. Um. It’s kinda bad. This place is just full of noobs, and they are all headed your way for the weekend. I mean, the Night Hunt grind is still on and all these doofi can’t math and think they can still get a free tank … DON’T ROLL IN FRONT OF MY SHOT … and with another weekend of Steam Beta testing one can only imagine the horrors … AHHH, YOU CANT PEN THAT WITH HE! … Weather conditions? Yeah, not as insane as with last weekend’s 3x multiplier (just some lame discounts), but still not clearing up fully until part way through next week at least. …. HAHAHA, IDIOT ON A ROCK… Expect lots of fog and confusion, lemming trains to the top of exposed hills, complete lack of situational awareness … FRONT ARMOR, FRONT! … and the noobery to extend to higher tiers and premium vehicles. Experienced tankers can also expect an avalanche of “unique” battle plans at the start of each round … THE RED TANK, SHOOT THE RED TANK … Geez I can’t stand it … HEY, MOM, MOOOOOOOM, WHERE’S MY iTUNES CARD? …

beep … a … beep … beep … Well that looks like Playah_715 has his hands a bit full out there in the Tutorial, we will leave him to concentrate on graduating outa there, purchasing his IS6 and golding his way to his Obj140.

We will now return to season 2 of “Clan Brotherz” the gritty Tanker reality show! Will XxX_HE_BossXxX crack 70% in his KV2, or will Lurken_Derpen rebalance him back to the garage? Why did MuzzelFlash89 really leave and start a new clan, did it have anything to do with backstabbing MaaxPain07’s tweet storm about his hit ratio? Look out for another EXPLOSIVE episode of Tanking Anthropology101!

 

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