Update3.3 Server Lock

Welcome back to the BlitzTV studio here in the corner of the garage! [Producers voice in background: “Great intro! Up the hyperbole a bit] We can’t wait to give you the extended BlitzWeather outlook for the rest of the week and the weekend! We are so excited! […You got that right…] The DracHell Grind is over! […Brutal…] Over-extended 3x Noobweekend is done! […Nailed it…] 3.3 has dropped and we are all updated and at long last looking forward to rolling out to fine and sunny conditions across the battlefields! [..Perfect..] We are so pumped we are going to use exclamation marks for every sentence! We don’t have any on field reporters this week, because we just want to get this over with and roll out there! […Yesir…]

OK! Enough preliminaries! Let’s get down to business! […Great energy! Keep em hanging!…] The BlitzWeather report is right here in front of me….. !!!!!

This weeks outlook, garnered straight from the interwebs of scuttlebutt, rumor and innuendo, has all the markings of a classic! […Beautiful…] A new map, rebalanced perfectly as always, hits us with Mines 2.0! Just like the old Mines, but with dynamic gameplay! […That’s Pulitzer-worthy right there…] And what’s this, everyones FAVORITE slug of death, the T28 Prototype received a HUGE buff! It can now reach the cap on any map within 4 minutes! […Did you just make that up? Close enough…] If you put all this together with an expected lame special over the weekend […How ’bout 30% off tier V TDs?…] we can expect beautiful weather for days! […Work it, work it, that’s great!…]

Enough of this enthralling studio banter, there’s red tanks to kill! […Finish strong!…]

LET’S ROLL OU……….

……HEY! Who cut the lights? […Got nothing here, the whole audio panel is dead…]

I can’t see anything! […Could be a fuse. Check behind the Toaster wreck…]

(furniture crashing)

(glass breaking)

(tool box tipping)

Found ’em, let’s run a test.

EU! […Check!…]

RU! […Check!…]

ASIA! […Check!…]

ARABIAN! […Check!…] Who’s on there anyway?

NA! […….]

NA?

NA! […Nothin’…]

Nothin’? […Nothin’. No login. No account. No garage. Nothin’. It’s dead…]

Check the forums, they are often full of intelligent and enlightening threads of wisdom and understanding.

Find anything? […Here’s a RatBat thread…] 

What does it say? […”Server Restart. Timing to be determined…]

Hmmmm. […Just hit ’em with the good news…]

BlitzWeather update: Time-warping anti-garage blackhole in existence until further notice.

 

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