Blitz: Impossible

[Cool spy music intro that translates badly to text: “Duh, dun, dun, dun, dun, dah-dah … duh, dun, dun, dun, dun, dah-dah …“]

Good morning DrFerd. The tank you are looking at is a mid-ranking premium member of the Swedish delegation. The notorious international cabal of “The Developers” have again infiltrated the garage with a nefarious grind scheme, to distribute the Stridsvagn globally. They have cloaked their intentions of a gold heist of historic proportions under the unassuming title of “Blitz Fair”. The unenlightened masses are either throwing gold at ridiculously priced premium tanks in a faux-bargain auction, or gold and their hard earned free-exp at what has become a  crate-crack epidemic. Your mission Ferd, should you chose to accept it, is to steal a Strv 74A2 without losing any gold, or your sanity, while surviving the white-out, rage-inducing, noobstorm of the next two weeks. As always, should you or any member of FerdSquad be caught or killed the Secretary will deny any knowledge of your actions. This message will self-destruct in five seconds.

[More cool spy music that you may now actually understand: “Duh, dun, dun, dun, dun, dah-dah … duh, dun, dun, dun, dun, dah-dah …” and a suspiciously concerning curl of smoke emanating from your phone/iPad/hard drive]

BlitzWeather Report as delivered from a shadowy alley way behind WG HQ, by a guy in a dark trench coat, hat and sunglasses, with bolt cutters and a penance for living on the edge:

The BlitzWeather? Rotten. Absolutely terrible. Really when you think about it, not very good at all. Here’s what to do…

Get in, do your missions, get out.

Decide what to do about the crates, the auction, or the IKEA-wagon later. Save your gold till you had the time to make a reasoned decision, or if not, blow it all when you have lost your mind to the grind.

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