BlitzHistory has taught us that three things on the battlefield are all but guaranteed: noobs, bad ping, and “The Grind”. When said grind is foisted upon us by the powers that be in the form of a volume-based event, every clueless window-licker with terrible Wi-Fi emerges to pursue the unattainable dream of a free mid-tier tank. The result is as predictable as the outcome of matchups blessed with six green “Player_xxxxxxxxxx” accounts. The following BlitzWeather report is hereby activated by default during any grind event:
Default BlitzWeather Report
“Cyclonic Stupidity”, the maximum threat level warning that can be issued by the BlitzWeather forecast, will exist from mm/dd/yyyy to mm/dd/yyyy*, as all those blessed with a supported device and opposable thumbs (but not much else) barrel in on the server from all directions and persist without relief or interruption. BlitzTV staff will be evacuating the facility and declining to participate in the inevitable historic noob flood for sake of our emotional wellbeing and general quality of life. BlitzTV and BlitzWeather Reports are expected to return to their regular scheduling sometime after the second date mentioned above.
*Insert dates of current event