[Post-dust-settling note: While update 3.8 + 3.9 + Sparts frustration has been directly linked to the premature demise of many a low tier noob, no actual conspiracies were enacted on said fodder. That would be against the EULA. And not cool. But WG still has a broken spare parts economy on it’s hands]

Screen Shot 2017-04-24 at 8.13.09 AM copy
Nice noob camp you have there, would be a shame if anything happened to it


[Producers voice, somewhat muffled and quasi-depressed: Hey tankers. Um, not much to report here this week. We ran out of BlitzWeather Charts only the second day after 3.8 dropped. The Charts are the official currency that we require to fund BlitzWeather research across all tiers. We apologize for getting into the boring mechanics of the BlitzWeather grind with our audience, but suffice to say that without enough Charts, we can’t forecast accurately. We are making all appropriate attempts to earn additional Charts to continue our work, but the Chart economy seems frustratingly broken at this time. The much hyped mission system to earn blocks of Charts can only be described as having “over-promised and under-delivered”, and the only other avenue to earn Charts is through likes, shares, comments, and re-posts of the BlitzWeather Reports, an unreliable option at best. So it is with some regret that we were only able to scout Tier III this week, please stay tuned for the report…… beep a beep beep …]

Angry noob ballet

BlitzWeather Report, Tier III

Super-bowl-Ad-buy-noobs! Loyalty-noobs! Goose-that-layed-the-rotten-egg-noobs! IS-spam-tank-noobs! They are everywhere, but perhaps more pertinently, their credit cards are everywhere. Here at BlitzTV we may have sent all our staff out to earn additional BlitzWeather Charts, but unfortunately, all that we could afford to unlock were low tier vehicles. So, after stealing someone else’s great idea off the internet, we are going to do the following:

(A) Dress all our OP tanks in their clan supply level IX dress blues

(B) Go club the heck out of tier III, then go boss it up at IV too

(C) Prosecute destruction on all the non-blue tanks first (aka: Noobs!)

The BlitzWeather in tier III? Bad for anyone not #RollingBlue



Screen Shot 2017-05-05 at 12.45.29 PM


Screen Shot 2017-04-20 at 9.09.08 AM copy.png
“I’m just waiting for a mate”



6 Comments Add yours

  1. Pretty funny! I think a truce should be called between all participants in #rollingblue… a break of the EULA but screw’em. This idea needs to reach all and the #rollingblue needs to show up when someone searches for it… start spreading it on social media / forums / discord.


    1. I was pretty mad the day I posted that… since that time a mental cooldown has reset my opinion against breaking the eula


      1. DrFerd says:

        Agreed on the green v red truce. That hasn’t happened along the way anyhow.


  2. DrFerd says:

    One option would be for all remaining blue tanks on either side to go sit out the game in the cap circle. More draws, but like you said, too bad. Without in-game global chat there is no way to be guilty of collusion.


  3. NotTelling says:

    Ya! And I can’t see those tanks with that blue camo – something must be wrong with my game client. I can’t shoot what I can’t see.


    1. DrFerd says:

      That blue camo is VERY effective at hiding tanks


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s