Currency counting …

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beep beep beep …

G’day Tankers, and welcome to the Weekly BlitzWeather Report, your central hub for …

… [/static, producers voice: Errr, its been 3 months!] …

Oh. Well, welcome back Tankers to the much delayed BlitzWeather report, where all thats fine and dandy in the WOT Blitz-o-sphere is reported with cheery enthusiasm ….

… [It’s been terrible out there] …

Oh, your right. Well, uh, OK Tankers it’s been a brutal summer of clueless-skrubbery infecting all tiers and it’s not going to change anytime soon. In fact, as you will see from the content of your announcements section, the following BlitzWeather Forecast is about to be activated automatically (link).

Default BlitzWeather (August 23rd – September 20th)

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… [Perhaps we should just move on?] …

And with that important preamble complete, lets dive into the rest of the episode where we dabble in the realm of future Blitz updates!

… [Thats ALWAYS a good one!] …

What we have for you today leverages our solid track record of prognosis! Let’s talk about the history of in-game Blitz currencies and what they can inform us as we gaze longingly toward more “dynamic gameplay”, “balancing” and even more Russian bias!

… [Oh, yes!] …

Astute watchers of Blitz can’t have failed to notice that somewhere in a WG development team there appears to be a code monkey who outgrew his stamp collection and has moved on to a fascination with pixel currencies. Here at BlitzTV we have lost count of all the weird and wacky currencies we have had for events over the past couple of years. We feel its time that someone spends countless hours of thankless research to collate a definitive list for posterity.

… [Uh, we do?] …

If we define an in-game currency as: “An Item (A) that can be exchanged for another item (B)” then the current standards we have include gold, credits, crew exp, free exp, spare parts … [Boooooo!] … certificates, and containers.

… [I like to exchange ammo for damage] …

In-game counters are not considered currency for this important study.

… [And the kinetic energy of my PzV/IV for the soul of a light tank] …

There have been many other transient currencies used over the past couple of years, including those for special events, and those that tanked for some reason as did the tournament tickets.

… [that’s a terrible pun] …

Overwhelmed in keeping up with the constant drip-drip-drip of new currencies, we here at BlitzTV have had to delve deep into the distance past on public forums to mine this crucial information.

… [It is?] …

Soon to be released in a worldwide exclusive episode, the full an unadulterated history of tokens, tickets, fangs, and cases!

… [/Yawns] …

Banners, combat trophies, steel containers!

… [/silence] …

Coupons!

… [/light snore] …

Pins and seals! Platoon trophies!

… [/falls off chair] …

Bat guano!!!

… [You just made that up! Sounds about right though. Stupid Dracs] …

OK, you’re right. To heck with that. We are going to wind this episode up with little game entitled “What currencies will our WG tormentors foist on us next?” Here at BlitzTV we have begun a wish list (obviously incomplete by definition because our overlords continually provide inspiration and new concepts that “You need to look at it as something awesome!”)

Future Blitz Currencies

  • Peanuts: earned by killing an IS-spam tank with a non-IS-spam tank of lower tier. 1 peanut per kill. 500 peanuts can be exchanged for 20 Sparts.
  • Donuts: One pixel donut earned for each green team mate that fails to do damage. 100 donuts can purchase a permanent 2% speed boost for big fat slow heavy tanks, as long as they are driving toward the flag circle. Once inside the circle, a 5x donut earning bonus activates, as long as the big fat slow heavy tank never leaves the circle for the duration of the match.
  • Broken Clock: 1 clock earned for the entire NA server population whenever a WG employee uses the term “Problem will resolve itself in time” in any announcement, video, forum message of other public notification. A clock can be exchanged for timers of the same duration. Timers can exchanged for Broken Clocks for 500 gold.
  • Sphinx: Any tank in the feline family (see Hunter medal list) can earn a Sphinx token by killing an enemy vehicle whilst sitting stationary atop a dune at spawn on Desert Sands, Oasis Palms or Mirage. Each token is automatically exchanged for cries of “nub” and other unpleasantries in team chat. Any hull traverse invalidates the Sphinx token.

… [list to be updated with the best suggestions!] …

 

eddie13_ [PURPL]

  • We are proud to announce “tears” as our newest event currency!

    Q/A:

    Q: what are tears and how do you earn them?

    A: tears are a new ingame currency you can earn by making forum posts about how “it’s impossible for me to earn the PZ70”.  Earn enough tears and you got yourself a free PZ70!  Us at Wargaming absolutely hate it when only good players are able to earn good prizes but with this new currency, anyone who has enough brain cells to write on a keyboard has the chance to cry aboutearn the PZ70!

… [Outstanding! With enough earned Tears, you also get the “Sensitive/Arrogant non-Linear Temper” camo (S.A.L.T.)] …

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