Lucky Few to Finish a Blitz Event Without a NoobWeekend

ATLANTA, October 26, 2017 – Delayed by pressing issues such as work travel, a midterm report, or illness of a pet iguana, a handful of local Blitz players are now reaping the unforeseen benefits of being able to finish the Macragge’s Thunder grind event without a brutal 3x NoobWeekend player pool. “WG always dumps these tardtastic 3x bonus weekends during events to really bring out the worst of the worst,” commented estranged unicum a_nerf_too_farSNIP3R, “but players that got off to a staggered start might not be finished till next week. Maybe I’ll even un-rage-quit for the 6th time.”

In an unexpected move WarGaming instead floated a rather uninspiring weekend discount on American TDs, an announcement obviously unrelated to comments elsewhere that the T110E3 in particular was an underperforming vehicle. “I only buried Igor last Friday”, sobbed local middle schooler Chad, aka PEEKaHEATer_001baws, “My councelor says ain’t no way I’m driving an E3”.

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Despite the liberating shock of a NoobSwarm-free final weekend, these isolated few tankers remain skeptical they have the ability to complete the event unscathed. “I’ll need more than 20 thousand gold to get the tanks” whined Georgia Tech freshman and long time WarHammer aficionado N8tE__62A__bully. All four of his friends and NOID clanmates agreed, “We only really want the Sparts, those tanks look crap”. When approached, WarGaming declined to comment on the impression that grind events, bonus weekends, bundles, vehicle discounts, the container lottery, and all other “special” offers were intently designed to fleece the mathematically inept or individuals prone to impulse purchasing of their, or their parents, hard earned currency.

In unrelated news, an in-game announcement today launched a new $79.99 gold bundle, a price point not commonly observed previously. According to quick calculations of NOID, the 27,000 gold chest would likely be sufficient to complete the Macragge’s Thunder grind for a large majority of the player base.

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