WarGaming Adding Subtitle Functionality to Blitz

MINSK, 13th November, 2017 – Hot on the heels of “improvements” to the Military Honor snitchcode, comes another game-changing development from WG. Announced earlier today, the state-sponsored captioning system known as “Political Officer” will arrive in update 4.5. Connecting the dots between the flood of newcomers in their container-drop high-tier premiums and new mechanisms to tell-tattle like aggrieved factory proletariat, Kommisar P.O. will “provide automatic real-time directives” to “under-experienced” tankers, according to the glowing official News item.

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Necessary to “re-educate drivers with non-sanctioned game-play”, the Kommisar will ride with all vehicles by default and provide “much guidance help” to “improve balance” of the “thought-decision” making of the entire player base, elaborated KaTUSHka_1942, the VP of Thought Control Engineering, whose team is building the new functionality. KaTUSHka_ would not address concerns raised by the Freedom Tank Foundation that the officer would automatically report all unsanctioned activity into the Military Honor system, initiating a server-side “file” of unendorsed decision making and eventually shift non-compliant players and their toonmate conspirators to the “far far East garage.” He countered as he spat on the ground, that “Wallet Warrior bourgeoisie can release Kommisar from specific vehicles” (for only 3600 gold per vehicle, and a 6 week timer).

While early prototypes of the Kommisar system revealed a “Classic, Soviet-era” personality, recent versions have apparently incorporated more modern sensibilities befitting multiplayer online gaming. “We know that all players must be very excited about their own, very personal, Kommisar P.O. coming soon” concluded KaTUSHka_.

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