Japanese Heavies Coming to Blitz

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DALLAS, TX, March 1st, 2018 – The Japanese line of heavy tanks will soon™ be arriving in Blitz, according to local super-tester _BOOMmomma_unqonk. Known for infamously tip-toeing along the redline of her WarGaming non-disclosure agreement, such as hinting that Ke-Ni-Otsu will be available during a one-hour flash-sale on the first of next month, _BOOMmomma_ appears not only to have clearly breached the NDA on this occasion, but shredded it and started a dumpster fire with print outs of all of WG’s broken promises. “Them big ol’ an purtee tanks” enthused the Blitz fanatic and mother of three rambunctious A-20 and VK 16.01 Leo drivers, “them alpha damage plum wore-out ev’thang of dem piddlee’o meds and lights”.

In a long and somewhat circutious interview, the super-tester lifted the veil on the behemoths covered in tarps in the premium garage, describing armor, ammunition, aim-time and premium camouflage in detail that was sorely lacking when this publication attempted to bribe the seemingly clueless garage box-dude on the subject. Indeed, her enthusiasm for the vehicles was so great, that _BOOMmomma_ “loaned me ’em a bit” to complete some of her daily run-around chores. Apparently, Japanese heavies are particularly “all git out” at negotiating the car rider lane, as well as being superior at “fixin ta” avoid traffic snarls on the “yonder” downtown connector. Apparently, an additional bonus is that no-one “gits up’dee, show ’nuff” about parking the vehicles “where’ver ah wan’t”.

In other Blitz-related news released today, WarGaming have announced a temporary pause to the super-test program, pending “updates to the 3rd party damage insurance policy, repair and reconstruction of the East Dallas Elementary School and surrounds, resurfacing of approximately 83 miles of the Texan Interstate network and recovery of several missing tech tree vehicles.”

 

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