Workplace Safety Improvements at WarGaming


MINSK, March, 13th, 2018 – Unsafe workplace practices at WarGaming, as quantified by the amount of spare parts due to be awarded to players in skill-based events, have fallen to all-time lows according to an in-game announcement today concerning Rating Battles awards and a cursory scan of current worldwide leaderboard’s. Claimed to provide an improved gameplay experience, the Rating Battle system suffers from perpetual involvement of uncalibrated players, a major consequence of which appears to be that no matter the tank type or tier loaded, the green team regularly experiences an outrageously high nuub-quotient.

Since the introduction of the new rating system in update 4.7 on February 27th, WarGaming has experienced 14-days of elevated workplace safety without any player progressing to the Diamond League on NA server. This elevated safety record is emulated on both the EU and Asia servers according to Executive Assistant to the VP of Sparts Hoarding, GotM60_haha. Confirming that that “corrective adjustments” would be made by the safety personnel on the RU Server, whose record has been tarnished by a single player achieving Platinum League status (up to and including punitive measures taken against said player), GotM60_haha pronounced that WG had achieved is greatest period of workplace safety on record “according to most best metric, da.”

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