Physics Introduced to Blitz

DETROIT, 19th March, 2018 – WarGaming have continued their soft launch of new physics parameters into public battles, toward the long-term objective of “continual renewal of the payer experience”, according to a Freudian slip from a company executive today. The accidental omission of a single “l” by Cash_BundleMe_Baby struck a chord with long-term players frustrated with a perceived free-fall in player awareness and competency associated with special events, earn-able high tier premium tanks, perpetual client updates with push-alerts and a rolling spring break across the country housing most of the NA server population.

The modified physics appears to be focused entirely upon gravity, a characteristic that that has not gone unnoticed by those with a conspiratorial bend. “A massive influx of tankers with Cro-Magnon intellects has led to a race to the bottom,” stated entrenched WG-skeptic Tim_Foiled_nKonqured, “so much so that a new basement needed digging”. The “new normal”, not a phrase officially endorsed by the company, sums up a gaming experienced dominated by criminal stupidity, over application of the touchable map to gather the entire team in a focused campsite (particularly in Supremacy battles), arguments between players spamming “capture the flag” and those alerting the team to the center of the map, the predilection of matchmaker to congregate incompetency into a single team for long stretches, and the pandemic yolo-fever spreading like an airborne disease at a compulsive-sneezers convention.

Tim_Foiled_nKonqured claims he speaks for the experience of the majority, stating “The MM line-up has become the signature event in most games. It determines the outcome more often than than not. Morons abound. Two or three brain-dead tanks typically suicide in the first few minutes in any match. I’m going clubbing”. WarGaming declined to respond with official comment, although our reporters claim they may have heard Cash_BundleMe_Baby mutter something between mouthfuls of Almas caviar about the “perfect” IS-6’s container algorithm for newcomers.

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