Tank Commander Bails Out

VLADIVOSTOK, April 3rd, 2018 – Local unicum Masochist_Da_sniper lost his tank commander during a particularly toxic rating battle on Yamato Harbor earlier this morning. Multiple sources confirmed that while his efforts to defend the A-flag with an IS-7 were largely successful, due to skillful application of sidescraping and heavy tank expertise, neutralizing the three red…

Advocacy Group Implores WarGaming

CLEVELAND, OH, March 30th, 2018 – The leadership of the global therapy-advocacy group Blitz Friends and Family gathered outside an abandoned rubber duck factory in Cleveland to make a impassioned plea to WarGaming this morning. “World of Ducks has many of our loved ones recalling the simple fun of Blitz,” explained DuckDodgers_25th, “without the complexity…

New Game Mode Completing First Full Upgrade Cycle

NAPA VALLEY, 26th March, 2018 – The impending arrival of Blitz version 4.8 marks an entire update cycle since the introduction of the most recent battle mode into the game. With the notorious 3.8 ushering in the era of the Spare Parts economy, tankers have faced off against WarGaming developers in a dynamic and unpredictable…

Physics Introduced to Blitz

DETROIT, 19th March, 2018 – WarGaming have continued their soft launch of new physics parameters into public battles, toward the long-term objective of “continual renewal of the payer experience”, according to a Freudian slip from a company executive today. The accidental omission of a single “l” by Cash_BundleMe_Baby struck a chord with long-term players frustrated…

Workplace Safety Improvements at WarGaming

MINSK, March, 13th, 2018 – Unsafe workplace practices at WarGaming, as quantified by the amount of spare parts due to be awarded to players in skill-based events, have fallen to all-time lows according to an in-game announcement today concerning Rating Battles awards and a cursory scan of current worldwide leaderboard’s. Claimed to provide an improved…

Japanese Heavies Coming to Blitz

DALLAS, TX, March 1st, 2018 – The Japanese line of heavy tanks will soon™ be arriving in Blitz, according to local super-tester _BOOMmomma_unqonk. Known for infamously tip-toeing along the redline of her WarGaming non-disclosure agreement, such as hinting that Ke-Ni-Otsu will be available during a one-hour flash-sale on the first of next month, _BOOMmomma_ appears not only to have…

Pause in Deterioration of Gameplay Quality on NA Server

LOUISVILLE, Kentucky, 27th February 2018 – An unexpected pause in the deterioration of gameplay on the NA server kicked in today, at precisely 3 pm Eastern, when server access dropped out in preparation for update 4.7. Relieved local player MyBushKempURown spoke for many when he stated “Thank goodness the server is down. I’m going outside…

New Rating Battles System Massively Successful

TORONTO, February 16th, 2018 – According to a local group of superuni’s from the H-SKIN clan, the new Blitz Rating Battles system in update 4.6 has been entirely successful at preventing efficient movement up through the leagues. “We wuz all dimond B4”, explained H-SKIN deputy iseeURammoRACK through garage chat, “stuck gold now”.  Confirmed regular platoon…

Naming and Shaming Thread is Disappeared

ATLANTA, 15th February, 2018 – NA forum residents awoke today to the first slow dawn of an era without the Naming and Shaming thread, the massively popular entry point for FerdSquad HateMail posts. Long a staple of socially constructive criticism of player behavior and interaction, albeit vaguely subversive, the thread appears to have finally run…

WarGaming Releases Blitz Memorabilia

MINSK, January 30th, 2018 – In a first step to “Broadening Blitz experience 24/7, comrade” WarGaming will offer Blitz-branded memorabilia, according to VP of Playerbase Renewal, Iwantibusof Goldnoobsinov. “Is gud product, very gud for player love Bliz,” claimed Goldnoobsinov, “with product, can experience best Blitz atmosphere all day, every day.” According to the announcement a series…

Consumer Confidence in WarGaming at All Time High

NEW YORK, January 15th, 2018 – According to a highly anticipated report released today by the International Commission on Consumer Abuse, confidence in the business practices of Minsk-based WarGaming has grown to an all-time high. A clear leader in the “In-game Transaction e-Commerce Cash Cow” category, WarGaming is “Very pleased with recognize”, according to Katarinka Brokealgorithmov,…

General Malaise Hits Blutz

SAN DIEGO, December 7th, 2017 – After grinding tanks, modules, crew, skillz, credits, free exp and now sparts, many long term players seem to be suffering a peculiar apathy toward WarGamibgs signature mobile offering. “Stupid 3.8”, said one embittered player, “I’m to tired to even care about my M3 Lee anniversary.” The malaise is widespread…